We guide healthcare professionals in a solution-focused approach so clients can embrace possibilities, opportunities, and a fresh vision for the future.
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. ~ Helen Keller Speaking (or rather writing) from experience, chronic stress can often feel inescapable. And chronic stress…
Today in our series on words to jump-start a solution-focused approach when managing diabetes, we’re focusing on EXCEPTIONS. Exceptions are those times when one’s able to deal with a problem…
Garden in Vienna, Austria on Deb’s recent trip to EASD conference
Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you. ~ Anne Lamott
This Fall, we’ve decided to follow some of our own advice and take some time to renew, recharge and refresh. Like our quote, sometimes you just need to unplug! Recent life changes, including work and health, have made us take a step back and recognize we need a little time with less on the agenda.
We’ll be back soon and look forward to engaging in more discussion and sharing more Fresh Views!
Tami and Deb
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Persistence and resilience only come from having been given the chance to work through difficult problems. ― Gever Tulley
In follow-on to last month’s blog on Managing When Life Gives You Lemons, today we’re sharing strategies to boost resilience and help bring balance to life, when things may seem quite out of balance. Maintaining balance is important. Think about it…everyone has daily tasks that are required of them, and too many “must-do” items can lead to burnout. Living with a chronic condition like diabetes compounds that. It means living with chronic stress, and that can in turn make managing diabetes more challenging.
We think about resilience as the ability to “bounce back” after challenging times, or when life gives you lemons so to speak. It’s having inner strength and still being able to hold your head up. Resilience is an essential skill for people with diabetes to develop in order to live well with diabetes. And yes, resilience is a skill. Research shows that resilience is a skill that can be developed over time with practice and support. Cultivating resilience can give the body and brain a boost when needed most!
Cultivating resilience is critical in life with diabetes, especially in those who are not naturally inclined to recognize their resilience. A key focus is on recognizing stressors and building plans to work through the stressful situations and setbacks and come out on the other side feeling successful, even if it is just one very small success.
Our patients/clients may turn to us, their healthcare team, looking for guidance to do something different. That’s where having strategies to build resilience in your back pocket ready to share comes into play. In a past blog we shared 5 ways to cultivate mental toughness, helping to build resilience.
Today we share 9 ways to boost resilience and help bring balance to life:
1 – Find ways to pair things you enjoy with other stressful tasks. For instance, play favorite music while doing household chores. Small steps and bits of enjoyment can have a big impact on mood and stress.
2 – Take on a challenge (even if it seems daunting) and step outside your comfort zone. Challenge yourself to do one thing a day that is hard, then recognize your hard work with self-kudos. Succeeding builds confidence and resilience.
3 – Encourage small personal experiments to gain small wins. Every significant step forward towards goals is a step in the right direction. Recognize and celebrate these small steps. (Such as increasing time-in-range of 70-180 mg/dL from 50% to 55% or fitting in an extra 5 minutes
4 – Find solutions, not excuses. Do more of what works for you.
5 – Ask for support – it doesn’t mean you’re weak. Encourage engaging in peer support, whether in-person or online. When one acknowledges their challenges and talks through them, they will often feel a sense of relief.
6 – Have an attitude of gratitude. We shared 5 strategies to help build daily gratitude habits here.
9 – Keep uplifting quotes around areas where you might feel stressed
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. – Proverb
We’ve all heard the saying “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” (Or in Deb’s case with lemon trees in her backyard, that might be limoncello instead of lemonade!) Challenges, transitions, and circumstances in our personal lives these last few weeks have brought this proverb to mind. Deb, for instance, recently fell and fractured her foot making it challenging to attend the ADCES25 conference.
If you follow our blog, you know that our primary focus is on taking a solution-focused approach to life to positively impact the future, particularly life with diabetes…rather than focusing on problems. It’s all about how you respond. So when life hands you situations that may initially be perceived as a “problem” (a lemon, if you will), focusing on how that can ultimately be transformed into something sweet (lemonade, or better yet, diet lemonade!) is the game changer.
Deb’s husband, Mark making Limoncello
Today we share 8 reflections and ways to turn those life’s lemons into something sweet:
Focus on what you can control. Your daily habits are one thing you CAN control – hydration, nutrition, movement, and sleep. Even small improvements can boost your resilience.
Even in the tough days, try to be present and appreciate every minute of life. We’ve written in the past about the impact of finding joyand expressing gratitude..
Rest and sleep are way more powerful in healing the mind and body than we give it credit for. Personally for us, the day seems more manageable with 8 hours of sleep instead of 6 ½.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up—friends, family, support groups, or care teams who listen and encourage. Let them be part of your lemonade recipe.
A good belly laugh can make things seem not quite so dark or overwhelming. Maybe it’s a perfectly timed meme? Or a podcast host that’s entertaining? Or a comedian on streaming? As comedian Milton Berle said, Laughter is an instant vacation. We’ve written about the benefit of laughter here.
Celebrate tiny wins. Walking a little farther than yesterday. Seeing more time in range than yesterday. These are all signs of progress worth acknowledging.
Embrace the power of positive self-talk. One friend walking through a significant loss shared a self-talk “track” she plays in her mind, “You HAVE done xx. So you KNOW you can do it. You CAN do it again. You WILL do it.” She shared that this and doing more of what works has given her the momentum to keep moving forward.
Even the difficult “lemon” days that turn life upside down are part of our stories. While no one asks for these challenges, the way we respond can shape not only our health but also our spirit. While we may not fully see it now, how we respond shapes our futures. And we can share and use our experiences to impact and encourage others.
We hope these are in some way encouraging and motivating to you, and can be shared with patients/clients you work with.
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Bringing nature inside – a wall hanging in Tami’s office
Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see a shadow. ~ Helen Keller
Speaking (or rather writing) from experience, chronic stress can often feel inescapable. And chronic stress related to managing a chronic health condition like diabetes exacerbates things further. Ultimately chronic stress can impact your body and mind, leave you feeling less than best, and lead to burnout..
As we continue our year of solution-focused self-care series, today we share a significant stress reducer, the power of calming spaces. Have you ever considered that your surroundings, whether you directly realize it or not, affect overall stress level? To this point are one colleague’s words, “cluttered office, cluttered mind.” We can relate. Evidence shows that calming spaces can positively impact daily life. It’s been shown that at work, a calming space can reduce stress by two-thirds after just 15 minutes and improve focus.. At home, a calming space can bring opportunity to decompress, re-center, slow down, lower heart rate and blood pressure, and recharge. Often after a stressful work day, Tami will retreat to her calming back porch oasis nestled among a wisteria arbor, surrounded by colorful blooming plants, with a fountain trickling in the background. It is her favorite “room” of the house.
Use calming spaces to support mental health, foster resilience, and support overall emotional well-being. Ready to explore adding a shared calming space in your area?Here’s 8 tips to get you started:
1 – Choose your space. Where do you need more calm in your life?Maybe it’s a bedroom at home. Or a gathering space in your home. At work, maybe it’s your desk space. Or a common area.
2- Match your budget to the space and desired experience. If you don’t have the funds for the perfect space right now, It can be an evolving space. Consider what will be most impactful right now and add to it over time. Focus on progress over perfection, which we’ve written about before.
3- Identify which sensory elements are most important. To create a calming environment, researchers suggest incorporating multiple senses. Choose items that include as many senses as possible.
4- Appeal to sight with soothing colors and soft lighting, such as a small desk lamp or flameless candles. Dimming or turning off overhead lights and going with soft ambient light immediately brings the stress level down. Incorporate the calming features of nature.. We’ve written in the past about the health benefits of nature. At work, try a screen saver with nature pictures, or rotating pictures of nature. Bring a plant (alive or a realistic artificial) into a windowless area for soothing benefits. Add photos or a wall hanging of nature (such as the one above that Tami has in her office). Exposure to photos or virtual environments that incorporate nature can lower stress by decreasing blood pressure and heart rate. Incorporate natural materials like wood if feasible. They bring a sense of warmth and comfort to a calming environment.
5 – Appeal to sound. Brain imaging shows that nature sounds and calming music have health benefits. They stimulate areas of the brain that lower heart rate and blood pressure, and promote calming. Even a short break (under 7 minutes) of listening to nature sounds can reduce stress. You may opt for a noise machine, an app or YouTube stream that plays sounds of nature, white noise or soothing instrumental music. We know a couple of people who find the sound of airplane white noise soothing and that’s their go-to on YouTube to bring calm. And you can’t discount the sound of a fountain – maybe a small tabletop version.
6 – Appeal to touch. Gentle, comforting touch can create a sense of safety, easing stress and helping the body unwind. Even simple warm contact can calm your heart rate and trigger the vagus nerve—activating the release of oxytocin, a hormone that brings a deep sense of calm and connection. For some, a soft blanket may do the trick. Again, bringing elements of nature indoors such as fresh cut flowers to touch, smell and experience, even for a short time, can reduce stress. Incorporate accessories like soft throws and cushions to foster relaxation and comfort.
7 – Appeal to smell. Inhaling the scent of lavender essential oil through aromatherapy can help ease stress and promote relaxation. You can experience its calming effects by using a cool mist diffuser or placing a few drops on fabric or cloth and breathing in the soothing fragrance. Lavender, in particular, is known to support mood improvement, reduce anxiety, and calm the nervous system. The aroma of essential oils impacts the brain, helping to ease stress, regulate mood, decrease anxiety levels, and support deeper, more restful sleep.
8 – Bring on the calm by purging the space of unneeded items. Give it a cleaning. Then set up and maintain your calming space.
We hope these ideas might spark creativity and inspire creating a calming space in your home or work world, or both!.
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
When we create peace, harmony and balance in our minds, we’ll find it in our lives. ~ Louise Hay
A walk in nature is the best gift to our mental health
Here we find ourselves in June, slipping out of May which was Mental Health Awareness Month. But mental health awareness isn’t just for May, it is an important topic all year-round! So much of one’s well-being is tied into mental health. Today we’re sharing 6 tips and solution-focused strategies to prioritize mental health now, and in the months ahead. We hope you find these helpful in your own life, along with triggering powerful conversations with your patients/clients,
1 – Get enough sleep. It’s easy to discount the power and impact of getting adequate sleep. Especially the link to mental health. For most adults 7-9 hours of sleep each night is about right. A short night or poor sleep quality can make it difficult to focus the next day. You may find you’re edgy or irritable. It can also contribute to anxiety. Deb shared in a past blog that developing a healthy bedtime routine and getting adequate sleep are behaviors she’s been working on. As she shared then, she was using the “sleep schedule” in Apple Health to set a bedtime and a “reminder” an hour before. She has continued to use it and notices that she’s sleeping better, has more energy and often wakes up before her alarm goes off. As Deb found, developing a relaxing bedtime routine, creating a sleep schedule, and avoiding screen time 30-60 minutes before bed was impactful. Avoiding caffeine in the late afternoon and understanding how alcohol effects you in the evening (and making modifications) may also make it easier to get your zzz’s.
2 -Take advantage of the power of physical activity. Exercise boosts those feel-good chemicals in your brain, known as endorphins and serotonin, so you tend to feel happier. It can also help you lower stress, and relax. Moving your body in any way—whether it’s a quick walk around the block, stretching before work, or dancing like no one’s watching—can really help take your mind off negative thoughts. If like us you’re not a gym person, just find something you enjoy and go with it. Deb purchased a used Pilates Reformer which she keeps in her home office, making it visible each morning. For some people working out at night can make it harder to fall asleep, so keep that in mind if you notice your sleep getting messed up.
3 – Limit screen time. How much screen time do you have every day? This is a tough one for the both of us due to the nature of our jobs. However, the National Institutes of Health says it’s a good idea to keep non-work screen time to about two hours per day. Why? Because too much screen time can be linked to feeling anxious or down. Cutting back may help you sleep better, lower stress and have more opportunities to hang out with family and friends – all things that are super important for keeping your mind healthy. One option is to try setting a timer on your apps. Another is to make screen free zones, like the dinner table or your bedroom, to decrease distractions and hopefully help you to feel better overall. We’ll keep you posted on our progress.
4 – Curb compassion fatigue. Much of mental health is tied to the health of relationships. We’ve noticed that when our relationships are thriving and in a healthy place, life tends to feel much easier. However, we’ve realized it’s crucial to develop mental and emotional resilience, especially while working in a health care environment and giving a lot of energy to others. Compassion fatigue can lead to relationship burnout, so it’s important to be aware of “filling up your own tank” before you can give fully to others. We all need to respect our own boundaries in order to give to others.
5- Practice mindfulness. Mindfulness can mean different things to different people. We’ve written about this concept quite a bit, read one blog here. Today we are focusing on the fact that mindfulness is about being present and aware of our thoughts and feelings while also being open to the experiences of others. It encourages us to listen and understand different perspectives, which can enrich our own lives. By appreciating how others express themselves, we can foster a sense of community and connection. When we create environments where everyone feels safe and encouraged to share their stories, we empower each other. The collective sharing not only enhances individual wellbeing but also strengthens our community bonds. Celebrating our differences and commonalities is something that brings joy and builds a supportive atmosphere for all.
6 – Say kind things to yourself after a challenging day. We’ve shared the power of positive affirmations here and here. And the importance of being kind to yourself here. Here are few examples of kind things you can say to yourself:
I accomplished several things today (list them off, one at a time)
Every little thing I do can be meaningful.
I’m making a difference one day at a time.
My efforts are moving me in the right direction.
Tonight I’ll give myself the rest I need.
Take time as you consider what YOU need to focus on for your mental health….we all need different things. And let us know what helps you!
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Life is not so much what you accomplish as what you overcome. ~ Robin Roberts
Tulips always make us smile and help us to take a breath and remember the beauty all around
Life is full of ups and downs…personal loss, professional setbacks, turmoil in our greater world, health challenges…and life with diabetes brings additional ups and downs with regard to glucose fluctuations
These taxing periods in life can leave you feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and emotionally drained. It’s essential to acknowledge these feelings and understand that it’s okay to not be okay. In this blog we share 4 strategies that can be helpful to navigate tough times that life may throw your way.
1% effort always beats 0% effort (learn more here)
Success may come in taking small steps toward a greater goal (especially when big steps seem overwhelming). For Tami with the arrival of summer, the very thought of readying the back yard, landscaped gardens, and patio for entertaining and festive gatherings felt quite overwhelming. Ah the endless to-do list. Yet, it became manageable tackling one small task at a time. That builds on one of our tenets in solution-focused practice which is to do more of what works. Talk yourself into what you CAN do, rather than what you CAN’T. Little wins pave the way for bigger wins.
Exceptions are times when the issues or problems could have happened, but somehow did not. It’s a time when stressors could have impacted you, but they didn’t. Most problems have exceptions. Here are a few solution-focused questions you can use to effectively promote self-care, reduce rigid or black and white or all or nothing thinking, and get through distressing times. Consider the following to identify some of your exceptions:
Are there times when this (issue/concern) has been less of a problem?
What is different about the times when this (issue/concern) was less of a problem?
What’s gone better for you today or over the past week?
What thoughts kept you on track?
At a time when you feel more optimistic and satisfied, what will you be doing more of or more often?
Our favorite exception question is this last one. It helps an individual imagine a future that is more in line with their desires, and can help the person to move toward that future in small simple steps.
Ask a 10% better question
A “10% better question”is a simple yet powerful concept that can help you make incremental improvements in life. It builds on the prior two strategies. It can be used in a wide variety of situations. For instance, if feeling overwhelmed, rather than asking yourself, “How can I be less overwhelmed?” Ask yourself, “What one small change could I make to improve my emotional state by 10%?”
This question encourages deeper thought and more detailed responses. It prompts focus on specific, small achievable improvements, rather than just general ideas. It asks to consider how you could improve something by a small margin…10%. Instead of asking for a complete overhaul or radical change. Instead of striving for perfection or drastic changes, aim to be just 10% better in various aspects of your life. So, if you’re feeling overwhelmed, try to improve your emotional state by 10%. This could involve practicing gratitude, setting aside time for relaxation, or reducing your screen time. Adopting the 10% better rule of thumb can help you navigate tough times with resilience and grace.It can help you cope and thrive during difficult periods..
Interrupt negative thought patterns with positive emotions and self-compliments
We’ve written in the past about the power of positive affirmations. When having negative thoughts flow through your mind, try interrupting those thoughts with kind, mindful, caring, and gentle words to yourself. Here are a few that resonate with us:
Kind: You still made progress today. Some days showing up is enough.
Mindful: Growth comes from both the positive and challenging experiences in life.
Caring: Just strive to do your best. Your value is greater than what you accomplished today.
Gentle: Take some time for yourself. (We’ve written in the past about the benefit of being out in nature, or finding something that brings you laughter.)
Putting It All Together
Managing tough times requires a combination of self-care and a mindset focused on incremental improvement.The next time you feel challenged, try incorporating one of these self-care examples and see how you feel. Small improvements can lead to significant positive changes.
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
When we seek to discover the best in others, we somehow bring out the best in ourselves. ~ William Arthur Ward
We are both cat lovers! Cats have an innate way of setting and maintaining boundaries.
In our last blog we discussed the importance of setting boundaries when we are trying to move the locus of control from others to ourselves. As we shared, the “Let Them” theory by Mel Robbins, helps you break free from managing others’ expectations and reclaim your time, energy, and happiness. According to Robins, “When you “Let Them” do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.”
We hope you’ve had a chance to practice setting some boundaries, or are considering areas of life where setting boundaries may be helpful. Have you found yourself saying, “Let Them” instead of jumping in to solve a problem or change someone’s mind? We hope you find the experience rewarding. After setting some boundaries, what’s next? This week we focus on maintaining the boundaries set.
Maintaining boundaries can be challenging for several reasons. Here are 7 common obstacles people face:
Guilt and people-pleasing tendencies: Feeling guilty about setting boundaries is the number one challenge, especially for those who have a strong desire to please others. This guilt can make it difficult to say “no” or to enforce limits. A common area we hear people living with diabetes mention is around food. For instance going to a family holiday gathering and feeling pressured to eat special foods that may or may not fit into the personal plan.
Fear of conflict or rejection: Many people are used to being the easy going one or the one who always says “yes”. There’s worry that changing this dynamic might upset others or damage relationships. Referring back to the example in #1.
Lack of clarity about personal needs: Sometimes, individuals are not entirely clear about their own needs and limits. This lack of self-awareness can make it difficult to “stick to” the boundaries they set. Sometimes going back to the beginning and re-evaluating can help.
Enabling behavior: Enabling behavior, where one person allows another to continue harmful or unhealthy actions, can undermine boundary-setting efforts. This often happens in relationships where one person feels responsible for the other’s well-being. Unfortunately continuing the behavior prevents growth and reinforces dependence. Another food related example (common theme here), a spouse or partner brings a food in the home that you’ve asked them not to because it’s hard to resist, yet they do it anyway.
Different situations require different boundaries: Boundaries are not one-size-fits-all. They need to be adapted to different situations and relationships, which can be confusing and challenging to manage. Boundaries at work will be different than at home. Different boundaries may be required for family members or partners who for instance take on monitoring roles and become overly involved with data and alerts from CGM.
Unhealthy beliefs: Limiting beliefs, such as thinking that setting boundaries will make you lose relationships or that you are not important enough to impose boundaries, can hinder your ability to maintain them. We all deserve to be respected and feel in control of our decisions.
Inconsistent enforcement: Inconsistency in enforcing boundaries can send mixed signals to others, making it harder for them to respect your limits. With practice you can make progress with consistency. If you find this is difficult, it may be time to re-think the current boundary, maybe it isn’t right for you.
When faced with a challenge to maintain your boundary, go back to the reason you set it in the first place. Review your goals for the boundary and prepare internal talking points. Do more of what works. We have found that the simple, yet impactful “Let them” can be a remarkable opportunity to shift your thinking in an instant. Maybe you need a little support, pull in your family or friends that you’ve identified when setting boundaries and have them ready to support you. Setting and maintaining boundaries is a process, with ups and downs, progress and setbacks and that’s okay. Understanding these challenges and identifying practical solutions can help you build more fulfilling relationships and stronger self-advocacy skills.
Let us know what you’ve found to help you maintain your boundaries. We’d love to share with others.
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate. ~ Oprah Winfrey
If you’ve listened to the Let Them Theory. podcast or read the new book, you might be as intrigued as we are with this mindset hack.
Let Them Theory
In Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, several science-backed strategies are provided to help break free from managing others’ expectations and reclaim time, energy, and happiness. According to Robins, “When you ‘let them’ do whatever it is that they want to do, it creates more control and emotional peace for you and a better relationship with the people in your life.” For instance, when someone leaves a negative comment online, “let them” and don’t engage in unproductive arguments. Or If someone judges your choice of food at a gathering, “let them” and don’t feel the need to explain or feel badly. When you verbally say to yourself, “let them” it is empowering and moves you to a new mindset. By doing this you let others be who they are, and you relinquish control over their actions and redirect focus to what is in your power.
There are several strategies incorporated into the Let Them theory that can help you be successful. One of the strategies that really resonated with us is setting boundaries. When you set boundaries you are clearly defining what is acceptable and what is not when you engage with others. You are then able to let others act as they choose, but ensure you are not being negatively impacted. By setting boundaries you protect your time and energy and focus on what truly matters to you. You will be empowered to focus on your own responses and let go of what you can’t control, ultimately leading to a more fulfilling and happier life.
Setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and ensuring your well-being. You can set boundaries with everyone from family and friends to co-workers, and even strangers. If this process is new to you, you may experience some feelings of guilt until you begin to realize the benefits. Remind yourself that you are changing your behavior so you can release control over others, protect your own energy, ensure self-respect and value for your own time and energy.
10 effective ways to set boundaries
Understand your needs: This actually is important before setting boundaries. Reflect on what you need to feel secure, respected and balanced; which parts of your life require boundaries; and what is essential..
Clearly define your limits: Identify what makes you feel safe and comfortable.. This helps you communicate your boundaries effectively to others.
Set boundaries early in your relationships or interactions. This sets clear expectations from the beginning and helps avoid misunderstandings.
Express boundaries clearly: Communicate your boundaries openly and assertively. Use “I” statements to express your needs and feelings without blaming others.
Learn to say “no” without feeling guilty. It’s important to prioritize your well-being and not overextend yourself.
Be consistent in upholding your boundaries. This reinforces their importance and helps others understand that you are serious about them.
Start small: If setting boundaries feels overwhelming, start with small, manageable ones.Gradually build up to more significant boundaries as you become more comfortable and confident.
Expect resistance and stay firm: Others may resist your boundaries, especially if they are used to you being more accommodating. Stay firm and remind yourself that setting boundaries is essential for your well-being
Get support: Seek support from friends, family, or a mental health professional if you find it challenging to set and maintain boundaries. They can provide guidance and encouragement.
Focus on positive outcomes of setting boundaries. Two positive outcomes may be improved relationships and increased personal well-being. Identifying these can help reinforce the importance of maintaining your boundaries
By incorporating these strategies, you can create and maintain healthy boundaries that protect your well-being and improve relationships. Try to establish a few boundaries this week and incorporate the “Let Them” philosophy when you are feeling the need to control the situation. Let us know about your experiences.
Join us next time when we discuss how to maintain boundaries once they’ve been established.
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Calmness of the mind is one of the beautiful jewels of wisdom. ~ James Allen
A calming view of sunrise over the mountains, Palm Desert, CA
Welcome as we launch a new series “A year of solution-focused self-care”! In each blog we’ll share strategies to help promote self-care. While today’s topic was originally slated later in the series, given the uncertain times in our larger world right now, and in our own personal worlds, it seemed fitting to start our series with strategies to help manage times of uncertainty and anxiety.
Some of you may know that we actually first met during a moment of anxiety. Flash back, we both found ourselves at a reception in a small, hot, very crowded room which left us both feeling claustrophobic. We each spotted a balcony with sliding doors and made a bee-line for open space, fresh air, and a lovely view out over the city! We began talking, sharing how we were feeling and became fast friends from there.
In moments of anxiety and uncertainty, whether due to social situations, a health-related situation, a family situation, or life in general we can regulate our nervous system and create inner steadiness by cultivating and using a variety of evidence-based tools. They can help you navigate stress and build resilience.When feeling a sense of uncertainty or being overwhelmed, try to create space for emotions.
Here are 8 ways to help regulate and calm your nervous system:
Physical regulation
Deep slow breathing– one method is 4 by 4 breathing, also called box breathing: Inhale to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4, exhale to the count of 4, hold to the count of 4. Do this 4 times. The magic happens in the hold and exhale. This breathing method; slows parasympathetic nervous system. You ; can do this in the car or going into a medical appointment or a difficult meeting.
Self-holding or self-regulation: Cross your arms and close your eyes. Sit back and take in what it feels like to be held. You can sway side-to-side or rock back and forth.
Sensory regulation
54321 technique: With your eyes not completely closed, sit and feel settled. Look around you and identify 5 things you see, then 4 things you can feel, 3 things that you hear, 2 things that you smell, and 1 thing you taste. This technique activates the senses.
Listen to nature sounds, diurnal beats, white noise, pink noise, brown noise, or a variety of other colors of noise. The Headspace app that Tami’s been using has guided imagery and calming music and Deb uses her Calm app.
Cognitive & Emotional regulation
Can and Can’t Control: Draw a circle. Inside write what you CAN control and outside the circle write what you CAN’T control. Then do a worry dump and, stay focused on things you CAN control
Mantra/affirmations – Practice using a 3 sentence mantra and receive it. Place your hands on your heart or do self-holding as described above. Take in the feelings of comfort, safety, and stability, then repeat: I am safe. I am grounded. I trust that I know how to care for myself. Take a deep breath in and exhale. Your mantra can include any words that are honest and true for you.
Connection & Co-regulation (using own self to regulate)
Humming: Cover your ears with your hands. Inhale then hum on exhale. You can hum to the level of uncertainty you feel. On the last exhale. hum love for yourself. Close your eyes for a moment. If there are feelings you can’t voice, then just hum.
Connection and physical touch: Whether a hug, gentle touch on the arm or air, a snuggle with an animal, or purr of a cat – these activate oxytocin (a calming, bonding hormone). There is nothing quite like a cat on Deb’s lap during a Teams work meeting.
Do some of these options resonate with you? Try one or two and see what happens. Do what feels good in the moment to you. You don’t have to do all these, especially if they don’t fit you. Give yourself compassion. As we know, compassion helps to build resilience.
Please let us know if you try any of these strategies and how they work for you. Want to share a strategy with others? Please do!
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on LinkedIn or our blog @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tami and Deb Celebrating in Palm Desert!
2025…a new year with renewed focus for us here @AFreshPOVforYou as our blog enters it’s 7th year!
WHO ARE WE?
If you are new to our blog, we are solution-focused diabetes care and education specialists. We are passionate about doing diabetes care and education differently. Too much of life is spent focusing on problems. Instead, we believe in turning attention to possibilities, opportunities, and a fresh vision for the future. We see the benefit in stepping alongside our patients/clients as “think partners” to focus on what’s important to them, what’s already going well, and build upon that to reach their goals so that they may live life to the fullest. We invite you to join us in doing the same if this is a new paradigm for you. We are advocates for person-centered, strengths-based language, and believe that self-compassion is essential when living with a chronic condition.
If this is a new way of thinking for you, you’ll want to check out our past blog series of key words that inspire solution-focused thinking. These words, their meanings, and impact are so powerful that we devoted a blog to each word. The series starts here.
If you work with primary care, we wrote a series on transforming primary care encounters by incorporating solution-focused techniques, maybe your interest is piqued by this new approach, but you’re not quite sure how to begin to incorporate it into your practice? We share 7 practical tips to get started here..
If you want to know how to apply a solution-focused approach to the ADCES7 Self-Care Behaviors for managing diabetes in practice, you’ll find the first in a 7-part series on “flipping” the conversation from a “problem focused” (traditional medical) approach to a solution-focused conversation here.
OUR GOAL
Our broad goal at A Fresh POV for You is to focus on Possibilities, Opportunities and creating a Vision (POV) for the future, based on strengths and leveraging positive learnings from past experiences. We want to share our learnings and how-to’s with other diabetes care and education specialists and healthcare professionals in order to begin to flip the paradigm to embrace a solution-focused approach in practice.
OUR MISSION
As we welcome the new year, our Mission continues to be that We guide healthcare professionals in taking a solution-focused approach to practice to enable clients with diabetes to embrace possibilities, opportunities, and a fresh vision for the future.
Our interest and passion around taking a solution-focused approach to practice (and life), means acknowledging what has gone well, acknowledging how that success was achieved, then identifying how to do more of that and build upon that moving forward.
Come along with us as we enter 2025 with New Year’s “solutions”, rather than “resolutions”.
What if, instead of making New Year’s Resolutions this year (which require change and “fixing problems”), you instead guide your patients/clients (and yourself) in making New Year’s Solutions? Who doesn’t like a solution after all? One way to identify solutions is to focus on things that have gone well in the past, and pinpoint how you can do more of that (rather than trying to change). One of the benefits of focusing on what went well, is that you can do it every day. Instead of dwelling on what you didn’t accomplish today, identify what was successful and try to do that “one thing” again tomorrow. You can read more about our take on New Year’s Solutions here.
Join us as we bring you A Year of Solution-Focused Self Care Strategies throughout 2025!
We welcome anyone interested in our approach to Subscribe to our blog and we’ll email you when a new post is published!
If you are a health care professional and interested in learning more about our solution-focused practice and approach, when you subscribe to our blog, we’ll send you in return a FREE resource of 10 Solution-Focused Questions to start a solution-focused discussion with your clients.
Follow us on Twitter @AFreshPOVforYou
Deb is employed by Dexcom, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
Tami is employed by the University of Kentucky HealthCare Barnstable Brown Diabetes Center, but her words and opinions in this blog are her own.
